Hey! It’s me! I’m back. Holy cow, it’s been a while. Between the holidays, this little surprise, a long 1st trimester, and the beginning of a long home quarantine, the blog has taken a little bit of a back seat to life. However, I am going to try and get back into the groove of sharing all things I love….now including, baby and pregnancy. This blog didn’t exist when I was pregnant with my boys or when they were small babies, so I’m super excited to document and share with you all along this journey…as I take it for the 3rd time!
If you would have asked us approximately 3-6 months ago if we were done having children, we would have told you, “hmm…90% done”. Our two boys, 21 months apart have been a handful (of joy and chaos of course), and we honestly just weren’t sure we could handle 3 children, mentally, physically, emotionally, or financially. But, I guess God had other plans, and for those I am so, so thankful!
The Holidays of 2019 were very stressful and sad for us. Weeks before Christmas, Nelson’s step-dad was in the ICU for over a week and then days before Christmas, my mom who was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, fell and broke her hip, had to have a hip replacement, and was in the hospital/short term rehab for months. There were flare ups of dementia and confusion, and physically, this has obviously been a huge setback for her, not to mention emotionally for all of us. My mom is only 68 and for my sisters and I this has simply been hard on us. It’s sad, it’s frustrating, it’s unfair, it’s depressing…I could go on. And although I feel guilty for feeling these feelings, as I am obviously thankful that the disease that she has isn’t any worse or life threatening, I also know it’s okay to have these feelings. My mom was our rock and one of the most selfless people I know, taking care of anyone in her life to her greatest abilities, so seeing her this way, is simply heartbreaking.
So, amidst all of this, as we visited her daily in rehab and began our search for the dreaded, but inevitable assisted living facility, I learned I was pregnant. As our family literally felt like we couldn’t take on anymore. Early January, after a long and emotional day transitioning my mom from inpatient rehab to short term rehab at NHC, I drove home late at night to Nelson and the boys crying my eyes out over my mom. I walk in the door to simply fall into my husband’s arms to tell him how hard the day was, and a little extra news. Naturally, as I shed tears on his shoulder and tell him I’m maybe extra emotional because I’m pregnant, he laughs, and I don’t blame him, because truly, at the time, it was simply comical that here we were feeling like we were already drowning, and now baby #3. But it was definitely a laugh of irony of our situation, but also a laugh of joy and happiness. Honestly, amidst the chaos and sadness, in a way, I feel like this sweet baby, this sweet bundle of joy was exactly what we needed as a family. Not just as for our immediate family, but for GiGi, for GrandDaddy, and for the best aunts and cousins in the world.
As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I literally just needed to tell everyone, mainly, because I was so shocked! And, I knew that I needed to know the gender, as soon as possible. For some reason, since finding out I was pregnant, I just had a feeling it would be a girl. I always joked that if we decided to have a 3rd, it would most definitely be a boy, but the way this whole surprise happened, just felt different and felt like it may finally be my girl that I had always wanted and dreamed of. Obviously, if you know me, you know that I am one of 3 girls, and my sisters and my mom are everything to me. We have a very special and unique relationship, and I’ve always dreamt of having that one day with my very own daughter. At 10 weeks, I was able to have the blood test for chromosomal conditions and the baby’s gender. As soon as the results came in, I had my sweet OB (and friend) 3 way FaceTime us in the middle of the day to get the results. No, I could NOT wait until that evening when Nelson and I would be home together. On that Monday afternoon I was visiting my mom at Waterstone Assisted Living with Crawford when I got the notification that the results were in. I stepped into the hallway to FaceTime with my OB and Nelson and when she said “Well, first of all your chromosomes are normal” we were obviously pleased and then she said, “So, you ready to know the gender? You’re totally having a GIRL!” Pretty sure I yelped and cried a little with the biggest smile on my face. Even through FaceTime, it was the sweetest moment. I, then, walked back into my mom’s room and she saw the huge smile on my face, and she just knew. It was pretty sweet and special to me that she was the first one to know that I was going to have a daughter of my own. I gave her the biggest hug and my eyes filled with tears but held them back so that Crawford wouldn’t ask a thing.
A few weeks later, we told the boys and it was a little less eventful than we imagined, but they were still excited. I think their excitement may have peaked with the fact that we were simply having another baby and they were getting a little sister or brother.
This 1st trimester felt very different than my prior 2 pregnancies with my boys. With the boys, I was in my 20s and honestly didn’t feel that pregnant, other than physically. I went about my life, worked out, did hot yoga, stood upside down on my hands, traveled, and worked without skipping a beat really. This time around, I guess I can just feel that I am older. For about 6 weeks, I was pretty miserably nauseous all day long and I’ve never been so incredibly exhausted in my entire life. But like they say, both of those symptoms thankfully decreased gradually as I entered into my 2nd trimester.
So, here we are, thankful and feeling so blessed that I am in my 2nd trimester as we are quarantined during this global pandemic. And I must say, besides the fear, anxiety and the unknown of everything going on, it has been a little bit of a blessing for me to slow down. I tend to go, go, go, and although being at home with the boys trying to homeschool, and work, and maintain our house, isn’t at all relaxing, has been downright exhausting, but it’s also been nice…for a week. We will see how long those feelings last in the weeks to come. HAHA
While I reflect on these past few months, I am very thankful for the freedom to have have been able to work, be social, workout at my gym and studio with some of my favorite people, celebrate my 35th birthday, be surrounded by my friends, visit with my mom in person, and most of all celebrate this sweet baby girl coming in September. However, it also makes my heart so heavy for the situation we are in currently. I am so incredibly thankful to be quarantined with my top 3 favorite people, but I also miss all of my friends and family. I am so incredibly thankful for the people sacrificing during this time, especially those medical professionals on the frontlines. This is a really tough time for us all and our economy, but we will get through it. We will get through it.
XO
Shana
